Your Eyes
by Lady Callista
Summary: The problem was that this time Emma wasn't running from someone else, she was running from herself. And Killian knew better than anyone how fruitless that was. And so now he waited for her to return. (post 4.7, Captain Swan)


Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: I'm sure there are a few of these out there already, I'm sure there will be more, but yeah, this episode gave such a fantastic set up for this type of scene with our Captain Swan. I look forward to reading all the stories that will spring from this episode - we need something to distract us until next week. Much like my earlier "Redemption," this story won't stay cannon once the next episode comes out, but it still had to be done. Spoilers for 4.7.

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><p><span>Your Eyes<span>

by Lady Callista

_OoOoOoO_

_"In your eyes, I see the light and the heat, In your eyes, Oh, I want to be that complete."_

_-From "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel _

_OoOoOoO_

Killian knew she didn't want to be found, but he also knew that she would come back when she was ready. At least he was almost positive that she would. He hoped that she would. He had to believe that she would.

Killian took a deep breath, and reaffirmed it in his mind. She would come back.

He wasn't sure, however, where she would go.

He doubted she would return to the place she shared with her parents; she wouldn't want to risk hurting them or the baby, and the look of fear that had been on her mother's face was something it would take Swan time to deal with.

He doubted she would go to Granny's either; although it was the only place in town to rent rooms it was also where he stayed, and he knew she didn't want to see him at the moment either.

She didn't want to see anyone really, but he knew her well enough to know that it was those closest to her that she would avoid the most. The more she cared, the more afraid she was of hurting them. There was a tiny part of him, underneath all his worry, that still marveled that he was not only on that list, but near the very top of it.

David had said as much when they were searching the town looking for Emma. He'd asked why David had pushed him out of the way, and the answer had been simple. _Because of everyone there, she would hate herself the most for hurting you._

Killian flashed back briefly to Neverland, and the prince telling him that he would never have a chance with Emma, that she could never care about someone like him.

They'd all come so far since then.

_She_ had come so far, so many steps forward, and then today she had been pushed so far back. He didn't know what the Snow Queen had said to her, what lies she had told or truths she had twisted, but whatever it was had caused Emma to do something she had once promised him she wouldn't do again. She had run.

He had wanted so badly to follow her, to run after her, stop her from getting in the car, or get into it beside her. It had taken every ounce of his willpower to not follow her. But he knew she needed the space, knew that chasing her in that moment would only cause her to run further and faster. Would cause her to panic, and maybe lose control further. So he had let her run.

The problem was that this time she wasn't running from someone else, she was running from herself. And Killian knew better than anyone how fruitless that was.

And so now he waited for her to return.

They hadn't found her anywhere in town, so Killian waited on the road at the edge of it, hoping he had chosen the correct side of town. This was the way her car had headed, and his only chance.

He'd been here for hours already, which meant that on top of the hours they had spent searching for her she had been alone for about five hours. Alone with her thoughts and her fears. His heart ached at the thought of how much she was hurting.

He saw the lights first, and as it was rare for anyone to be out at this time of night knew it had to be her. He pushed off of the tree he was leaning on, moving to stand in the road where she would clearly see him, but he wouldn't be blocking her path. If she wanted to go around him, she could. It would hurt so incredibly much if she did, but the way through her walls was not to push, and that was more important now than ever.

Killian watched the yellow car slow as she saw him, then come to a stop a good twenty yards back from where he stood. For a moment nothing happened, and Killian held his breath, praying she wouldn't avoid him, then the door opened and Emma stood beside her car.

"Please, just leave me alone." Her voice was raised to carry through the night, and held wariness tinged with fear.

"I did." He called back, watching her eyes as he began to slowly walk towards her. "Not following you earlier was one of the hardest things I've ever done, letting you be alone knowing what you were going through..."

"You don't know." Her voice was sharp now, and even over the glare of the headlights he saw the glow starting in the hands that were clenching the top of the door. She started to shake again, as she had earlier at the station, and now her voice was fragile, "Just stay away, please, just.. I don't want to hurt you."

It was easy to not let fear or disgust show on his face; he didn't feel any. He was still walking towards her slowly, and although her eyes were wide with terror she didn't back away. "The only way you could hurt me right now is by running again."

Killian watched as she flinched at his soft words, and he saw the conflict in her eyes a second before they closed. He was close enough to see her white-knuckled grip on the door now, even over the gentle glow still coming from her hands. Her eyes didn't reopen, and he covered the remaining distance between them in a few long, quick strides, reaching out without hesitation to lay his hand over one of hers.

Emma jolted as if she had been hit, rapidly backing away even as her eyes filled with horror before dropping to the ground.

"It didn't hurt, luv." He closed the door softly, but didn't move to close the gap she had created, instead raising his perfectly fine hand for her to see. "Bit of a tingle, but I did worse to myself trying to see how your electricity works."

"But it could have... I..." She looked up, but only as far as his hand.

"Lass, you carry a gun. And you learned how to use it so that you don't shoot someone by accident." He smiled softly at her when her eyes finally met his again, and took a cautious step closer. She didn't move, so he took another step as he continued, "Your car here, that's capable of inflicting a great deal of damage as well, but you've been taught how to control it. Your magic is no different."

"It is. I don't know how to explain... I know you can't understand, but..."

He was within touching distance once again, but he held that slight separation. She had to be the one to reach out this time. "It's not different. I know why you think it is, because it's a part of you. You didn't carry the gun until you learned to use it, and you chose to do so, and could also choose not to have it. Same with the car. But not the magic."

"You..."

She didn't finish the sentence, but he knew by the wonder in her eyes what she had been about to say. _You understand._ And he did. "You're not a monster, luv." He needed her to know that, hated more than anything that he had inadvertently and indirectly applied the term to her. "Having magic doesn't automatically make you one, and I know that because of you."

Her eyes showed confusion, and he offered her another soft smile before he added in an even softer voice, "I'll admit that when I first found out you had magic, it gave me a moment's pause. I'd never met someone with magic that wasn't evil, wasn't twisted in some way. But I already knew you, and it only took that brief moment for me to realize that having magic didn't change who you were. You're a bloody hero, Swan, and there's too much light inside you for you to ever become a monster. I've known monsters, and you could never be one, it's just not in you."

"Killian..." Her voice was a whisper, and a single tear trailed down her cheek, her eyes shimmering with so many conflicting emotions he didn't even try to recognize them. "I could have killed you today. Or David, or..."

"But you didn't, lass." He said gently, his warm eyes still holding hers intently. "And if not for your magic, I'd have been dead weeks ago. Or have you forgotten sweeping me and your father out from under an avalanche of ice?"

"I didn't sweep so much as shove. I wasn't in control then either, I just..."

"You just wanted to save us, and you did." He interrupted in the same soft voice he had been using all along. "You know magic is connected to your emotions, luv. It's why I know you won't hurt me, because you don't want to."

"Of course I don't, but that doesn't mean..."

"Don't worry about the morrow." Killian said softly, clenching his hand into a fist to keep from reaching out when a second tear trailed down her cheek. His heart clenched at the pain in her eyes, and he repeated to himself once again that she had to take the next step. "Just be right here, right now. Forget about everything else, everyone one. It's just you and me, and you're not going to hurt me."

His name came out on a sob, and the next instant her arms were wrapped around his neck and she was holding on for dear life. His arms came around her in return, and even as tightly as he was holding her it didn't feel like enough. The words slipped out before he could stop them, "Please don't ever run from me again."

"I wasn't." She whispered with her face still pressed into the crook of his neck. "Not the way you mean, I just... I couldn't control it, and I was afraid of doing something worse. It was what she said would happen. She said it didn't matter how much good you did with magic, that all you had to do was make one mistake, have one accident, and everyone would turn on you. Everyone, even those who claimed to love you, would be afraid of you. And I saw that fear in Mary Margaret's eyes... People have a tenancy to come to hate what they fear."

"Your mother doesn't fear you luv, and she feels horrible about her reaction." Killian didn't have to ask who Emma was talking about. "It was an instinctive reaction, Swan, an instant of fear when her true love was injured. She's just as worried about you as your father and I."

"She wouldn't let me hold Neal earlier." He made a soft sound, urging her to go on, and she told him what had happened earlier at the baby group.

Killian heard everything she didn't say, realized immediately how the incident had been the catalyst that allowed the Snow Queen to manipulate Emma. He also thought of what David had said earlier, about why David had pushed him out of harm's way, and so when Emma was done he offered softly, "She wasn't afraid of you luv, not the way you think. She was afraid, yes, but _for both _of her children, not of one of them."

"That doesn't make sense." Although her arms stayed around his neck, she pulled back enough to look into his eyes.

Killian smiled softly. "It does lass, and you'd likely have realized it yourself if you'd been given the time. If you hadn't immediately had to deal with the ice witch. Yes, she didn't want Neal hurt by accident. But she didn't want you hurt either, which you would have been if anything had happened to the lad. It's the very reason David gave for pushing me out of the way, he was afraid you would never forgive yourself if you hurt me." He watched her eyes, willing her to believe. "You saw only your mother's eyes, only that instant of panic, but even though he was the one hurt there was no fear of you in your father's eyes. Nor in mine. There never will be."

"Killian..." The conflict was still in her eyes, but he could see it lessening as she gazed deeply into his own. He knew she was using her superpower, using the one magic she wasn't afraid of at the moment, and that she knew he was telling the truth. "_I'm_ afraid of my magic, of myself, how can you not be?"

He'd heard her voice vulnerable before, but never to this extent. He kissed her lightly on the forehead, keeping their heads leaned together as he whispered in her ear, "Because I trust you, and I believe you'll master your powers, just as you have everything else that our crazy lives have thrown at you. Because I know you can do anything. And because I..."

Emma tensed in his arms when he trailed off, and he pulled back just enough to look into her eyes again. "I've not said it properly for I feared it would make you run, or that you would feel I was pushing you to say the words back. And you know how I feel, I've certainly never hidden it, but I think right now you need the words." Her eyes were wide, yet she made no move to stop him even though he paused to give her the chance.

Killian removed his hand from her hip to cup her cheek, his eyes tender and his smile soft as he whispered, "I love you, Emma, and that's why I could never be afraid of you." Her eyes filled with tears that quickly spilled over, and he patiently brushed them away. "Your magic is part of you, and I love you for everything that you are."

She was silent for a long moment, but it wasn't fear he saw blossoming in her eyes, and she made no move to run. Instead her hands tightened by degrees on his neck even as she rose to her toes and pulled him into an achingly sweet kiss.

When she pulled away a long moment later, it was only enough to look into his eyes again. "That's why I'm so scared. Because I... I..."

He saw the fear in her eyes now, but he also saw what was underneath. "Swan, you don't have to..."

"I do." Her voice was a breathy whisper. "Even if I don't hurt you, neither of our lives are exactly safe. And if something happens to you... or to me..."

"It won't." He leaned in to kiss her softly, but she pulled back after only a second.

"You can't know that." She whispered against his lips. "And I think it would hurt, I think it would hurt too much if something happened and you didn't know. Killian, I love you."

She melted into his arms again, for a moment everything else really did fade away.

She let herself believe that he was right, that she wouldn't hurt anyone while she learned to control her magic. She let herself trust him, and trust that somehow things would work out. She let herself love him, and believed that it would be enough.

THE END

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><p>AN2: I debated so long about actually going for the <em>I love yous<em>, which I've avoided so far because I wanted to wait till it was said flat out on the show. But this was so perfect for it, and it's not like the fic is gonna be cannon compliant after next week anyway. Reviews, both good or critically constructive, are appreciated as always.


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